Posted by fallsfall on February 18, 2005, at 17:30:28
In reply to Therapist offered, but I refused., posted by Dinah on February 18, 2005, at 15:32:35
> I suppose I feel good that he offered.
>
> He'd like me to keep to the schedule that we had worked out, but I don't think I can afford it. So he offered to do the third session a week at half price. But I refused.*** I find this very interesting. You have said *many* times that he charges you more than other people and that you think that isn't fair. You have said *many, many* times that he is in this only for the money. Yet, when he says that he will reduce his fee so that you can get what he thinks you need, you will have nothing to do with that.
>
> That's one boundary I don't want to cross. I'm afraid he'd feel resentful. He says that if he offered, he'd have no right to feel resentful. I asked since when do feelings listen to rights. He said that if I noticed him being resentful, we could talk about it at that point. I don't even want to get to that point. I guess he understood that.*** I understand about the resentful part. I offer things that I think are "needed", but because I think that something will not get done if I don't. That doesn't keep me from feeling resentful that *I* had to offer it instead of someone else doing it (i.e. the person whose responsibility it really is to do it). I would hope that your therapist wouldn't be as confused about this resentment thing as I am... I would hope that he *wouldn't* feel resentful if he offered.
>
> We also discussed my conviction that I don't think I'm worth seeing for the standard insurance reimbursement rate. :) He told me of course that wasn't true, and mentioned that I still didn't trust him, did I.
>*** Why do you think that you are more "trouble" than the average patient? Or is that it? What do you mean "worth seeing"? What makes you so special that he would need to have a whole separate set of rules for just you?
> I guess I don't trust him. Not in that area.
>
*** Are you thinking that he will think you are too much trouble for the money he gets and kick you out? Don't you think he knows you well enough to predict whether he'll be unhappy with a new arrangement?> He mentioned a few other alternatives.
>
> I agreed to come in and talk to him about it. I'll admit that the reason is that if he thought it was important enough to reduce his rate, I was intrigued as to why. I think he's offered all he's got in the area of work, and that third work themed session per week isn't really worth the time or money. I guess I'd better work on my presentation before I see him. :P*** Perhaps he is thinking that his schedule isn't full, and that getting half price from you is more than getting nothing. Perhaps he's just being pragmatic.
*** If the two of you can agree on the number of sessions that are appropriate, then the money issues might be clearer. I guess I'd be interested to know if you think the 3rd session isn't worth the time, or if it isn't worth the money. Those seem like very different situations to me. If you think 3 sessions would be helpful, would you feel better if this 1/2 price sale were for a limited time (3 months/6 months)? Then he could back out of it at the end of the time without you feeling he was changing his mind (because you would have set it up that way).
>
> I forgot to tell him his offer meant a lot to me. I'll try to remember for next time. And I'm not usually outright rude, so I wonder why I forgot.
>
*** That does sound very unlike you.> Oh well.
>
> I was also left feeling extremely anxious, enough that I had to take a rare daytime Klonopin, and I'm not sure why such a nice discussion would have left me feeling so anxious.*** Because you don't want to be sick enough to need more therapy than you can afford?
poster:fallsfall
thread:460038
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/460090.html