Posted by mair on February 22, 2005, at 21:58:54
In reply to Re: My T Just Called Me, posted by Speaker on February 22, 2005, at 19:37:36
Thanks so much Marie
I did go and it wasn't as bad. She thinks the reason I'm struggling so much in T is that I have 2 things going on which are in direct conflict with each other. One is that I'm starting to feel more comfortable around her and more connected and I want that sense of attachment. The counterbalance is my extreme fear of mortification (her word) - that I might really embarrass myself by something I say or do. Obviously if I keep my distance, that won't happen.
We talked alot about difficult things - the difference between hard sessions and what I consider bad sessions - she doesn't want me placing a value judgment on how I do in a particular session.
Unfortunately, the one thing we never got time to talk about is how miserable I'm feeling about myself these days - all of these horrible work issues.
The best news, however, (for me not her) is that because of something happening with her kids, she has to cut short her vacation so I'll only miss one appointment and not 2. Somehow that alone made the biggest difference to me. She also gave me her phone number for where she's going to be and stressed that in my case, she'd really love for me to call. Nice thought; Won't happen.
I need to be writing things down however. Knowing me, by the time she gets back, I'll have suppressed every feeling and thought I've had about what's happening with me now. (-;
Thanks again.
Mair
poster:mair
thread:461223
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050218/msgs/462051.html