Posted by Aphrodite on March 1, 2005, at 13:54:22
In reply to Needing comfort, posted by Shortelise on March 1, 2005, at 13:23:19
I'm not sure how to comfort you, only to say that I understand what you are saying completely. I don't know that it necessarily matters how long you've been with your T -- both of you grow and change and he may not always "get it." So as my T says, tell him 100 times in a 100 ways until he does.
I was struck by what you said about suicide and how it relates to your mother. My mother would fly off the handle and attempt to do us all in along with herself. It is a learned response for me because that is how she dealt with any kind of upset. I go to suicidal ideation too, no matter the trigger. I don't know how to erase it. I've tried explaining it to my T as a twisted way of comforting myself when I am in despair. Is that true for you too? No matter the reason and no matter if you have a plan or not, it's still a scary place to be. I think the only answer is to learn to be compassionate toward ourselves instead of destructive. A very, very hard lesson.
Please keep reaching out to your T until you are understood. It's hard to have that objective insight about yourself; you are too close and vested and entangled. You need your T to help you with it all.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:464935
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050225/msgs/464959.html