Posted by Dinah on May 29, 2005, at 10:05:26
In reply to Re: I think I may be ready to give up my plan, posted by Jazzed on May 29, 2005, at 9:56:39
Yes, he knows to hospitalize me if he terminates me. I've reiterated that several times.
But I could have never told him the plan, because then it would be a threat, and it was never meant to be a threat or to manipulate.
I think even telling him in retrospect might fall into that category. Plus, he really would get angry, and all for no purpose. Since I'm ready to put the plan aside.
The only point in sharing it at this point would be to rejoice that I'm ready to put it aside. I'm not sure even those posters who've been around a long time and have known that I've clung to this plan know how much a part of my everyday background thinking it was. To be ready to let go of this important safety net says a lot about how secure I feel.
And no, I'm not afraid he'd be more likely to terminate me if I tell him. First of all because I believe him when he says that any termination will come from me, unless he moves or retires or dies. And second... I think he'd recognize that giving up the plan didn't mean it would hurt less to lose him. It says more about how I think losing him would come about. I think it says that I think it would come about in such a way that I wouldn't feel such rage that would drive the plan.
I don't know. I think I understand in my mind, but it's hard to grasp the words to describe it.
poster:Dinah
thread:504109
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050528/msgs/504646.html