Posted by AuntieMel on July 25, 2005, at 12:27:37
In reply to What goes through a child abuser mind *trigger*, posted by happyflower on July 23, 2005, at 18:02:55
I have no idea what goes through their minds while they are doing it.
It boggles the mind.
My father was much like your mother. Not quite as bad, but that's largely because he spent a lot of time ignoring us.
>>>How can they not remember any of this years later? They say, I don't know what I have done? I don't know why my kids don't talk to me?
They know. They just don't want to admit it, or they justify it as 'tough love' or somehow rationalize that it was ok. But they know.
Are they sorry? They are sorry that the world knows you won't be around them. Sometimes they even say they are sorry. But keep your kids away, or supervise them at all times because it's likely they won't change.
Your therapist is right. Keep away, certainly until you are strong enough to know her for what she is and not turn it back on yourself.
>>>Why do people judge me when I say I don't have a relationship with my mother?
It's their problem. Tell them she doesn't deserve a relationship.
>>>>>I think people rather have happyflower around instead of abusedflower.
I'm hearing angryflower, and rightly so.
So, back to your statement:>>>>My T says she is paying, by not having me or my brother in her life or her grandkids. But sometimes it just doesn't seem like it is payment enough.
Your therapist is right, but it's more than that. You have wonderful kids and are working to get past this and have a great life. Success is the best revenge.
And if she meets the same fate as my father, she will die a lonely old woman.
poster:AuntieMel
thread:532294
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050725/msgs/533230.html