Posted by daisym on August 22, 2005, at 23:32:44
In reply to Did anyone ever tell their spouse, posted by FlyingKangaroo on August 22, 2005, at 19:58:56
Spouses and therapy are tricky. I know we want their support but there is so much they can't/don't understand unless they have felt these things themselves. It took me a year to even begin to talk to my husband about therapy. He wanted to know about "that guy" and so forth and so on, and he does ask what we talked about. I tell him very generally. If he feels like being mean, he will tell me how much he hates that I'm talking to someone else about our personal problems. He spouts off that husbands and wives are supposed to do that for each other. Sometimes he tries to make it sound provocative, like I'm doing something wrong. Usually he just says he doesn't get it but if it is helping, then fine.
The hardest part for me is when my husband talks about seeing my therapist too. It freaks me out, even though my therapist is very clear that he wouldn't do that. I get defensive and of course that makes my husband wonder why I won't share. I would never, ever tell him how intensely attached to my therapist I am, though my therapist is sure that husbands sense it and often act out against a perceived threat to the status quo.
I think your husband will settle down. Tell him enough, but not too much and perhaps you can enlist him in helping you solve a problem or two. That should help his fear that you don't need him anymore.
poster:daisym
thread:545330
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050813/msgs/545482.html