Posted by LadyBug on December 7, 2005, at 21:23:10
In reply to Holiday gifts for therapists, posted by Anneke on December 7, 2005, at 15:31:44
I wish this thread would have been started last week. My therapist and I decided it would be ok to give her a card and bring a treat we could share. So I made her a scrap book style card, I thought it turned out pretty cute. I couldn't decide what to make for a treat and didn't want to take something she dis-liked and I don't know what she doesn't like. So I took some Hershey Cherry Cordial Kisses. Then I had some sub consicious wish going on and I decided to buy her a nice holiday smelling candle and a warmer to put it on. That was on Mon. of this week.
She accepted the card and the candy, but when it came time for the candle, we stopped and talked about it and I knew then and there she would have to refuse it. I knew I set myself up as she has a no gift policy with me and I KNOW IT!!!
So I took the candle etc. put in a bag I had with me and left. I felt rejected, sad and just horrible, but I did it to myself and I had to respect her for being strong enough to tell me "no".
The old me would have gathered up everything I brought, including the card, and told her to screw it and I'd leave crying. The pain of rejection was just too much for me to take.
Instead I left, felt horrible, but decided I needed to call her and tell her I was feeling so badly. After playing voice mail tag, we both agreed that I needed to come in and talk face to face. I went to see her tonight and we talked about all the reasons I did what I did.
So the dumb candle not only cost me money to buy, but it cost me more money to go back and hash it out with her!! Geez, I wonder about myself sometimes?????
So could I do it over again, the card and a homemade treat would have been perfect. But for whatever reason I had to get smaked in the face with it and learn the hard way. No more gifts for me!!!!!! Till further notice!!!!
I guess I thought, gee, it's Christmas, it's a time of year when we show the ones important to us how much we've appreciated them during the year. But that's just it, in therapy we need to "tell" that to our therapists, not try to cover it up with a gift. (My problem)
Now, I hope to move past it, learn from it and not be too hard on myself for making a mistake. I really beat up on myself for taking her a gift even though I knew without a doubt it was wrong!!!
Live and Learn.
Happy Gift Giving to all of you who are allowed to do so. As for me, I'm a recovering therapist gift giver!!!!! I told her she could give me a gift, I don't have those kinds of boundaries going on for myself!! LOL, We both laughed!
LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:586561
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/586710.html