Posted by cubic_me on December 9, 2005, at 8:30:55
I don't really know where this belongs, so feel free to move it if it's in the wrong place.
As part of my medical training (in the UK) I'm spending some time at mental health inpatient units and out in the comunity with mental health nurses and psychiatrists. Some of the home visits I've been on have been with the crisis team (who are the step between care in the community and inpatient - they visit every day).
The thing I'm finding difficult is that some of the patients seem more well than me, but just don't function as well. I can get up to do the things I have to do (although it takes a lot of effort), I eat ok and appear 'normal' in public even though I can't stop thinking about jumping out of the window wherever I am, it's hard to keep suicide out of my mind even though I need to be worse than this to act on the thoughts. I just feel so horrible inside all the time.
I suppose it's hard seeing that lots of people feel similar (or not as bad?) and get so much more support. I had an outpatient appointment every 3 months with a different psychiatrist every time and now my therapist said she can't help me any more so I'm on a long waiting list for another.
I'm sure part of it is because I'm not forceful enough, I hate imposing on other people and it took a lot of courage to go to the doctor in the first place. Then to get rubbish care just reinforces that no-one will be there for me because they never have.
poster:cubic_me
thread:587221
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/587221.html