Posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 9:58:12
In reply to A shy hello..., posted by ali_b on December 9, 2005, at 0:05:39
> Hi. I'm new. I posted once on newbies...but this is my first 'real one'. You all are so supportive of eachother...I admire every one of you....
Hi Ali! Welcome!
> Just that I am feeling unlike myself and I have been like this on and off for a while.
> > Waiting and waiting.....
> > and waiting to feel better.Does sound like depression, do you have a pdoc for meds?
> People ask how school is. 'Oh, it's good' (but I haven't gotten up all week, I will fail (again)if I don't make it to finals next week.)
I sit and stare at nothing. For hours. I see things in the corner of my eye. I feel disconnected. I wake up and I can't figure out where I am.You're not alone, I know others have said they feel that way, and that sounds like me too. You can't get up, can't make yourself move, not any part of your body. You sit and get so far behind, then you feel paralyzed and can't do anything, and then you feel guilty for all of it.
> ....but I am cheerful to company.
> How can someone be so 'normal' in public and so crazy alone? How can it be so hard for me to accomplish things when I can put up such a good front? I can fake it. So nothing must be wrong. It's all in my head.I think it not unusual to feel horrible inside, but feel like we have to put on a show for others. To not want others to know there's anything wrong. It's not all in your head.
> So I go to therapy.
> ...but sometimes I can't even make it to my T.Can you get to your T, but tell him things in writing? If I couldn't do this I wouldn't get anywhere. I couldn't tell him anything. I"m sure I'll get to the point where I can express myself verbally, but right now it makes me feel too exposed.
> I have nothing to say to him.
> I just want out.Sounds like you need to talk. Is he helping at all? Is he trying to draw you out? Is it a good fit do you think?
> (nervous, embarrassed, creeps slowly away...)
Please don't. Please come back and talk.
fw
poster:fairywings
thread:587143
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/587239.html