Posted by 10derHeart on December 9, 2005, at 22:56:08
In reply to Re: Therapy anniversary ramblings » 10derHeart, posted by fairywings on December 9, 2005, at 9:46:23
Thanks, it is a happy thing mostly, although I still worry a lot it's too long, or too much, or I'm doing it wrong...blah, blah......
I have been able to tell this T, and ex-T. both in writing and a little bit verbally how much they meant to me. A lot of it by email, so email means an awful lot to me, for that and other reasons. But it wasn't always easy. Sometimes I mumbled and stared at the floor, frozen with fear. Sometimes I thought I'd die from the anxiety after writing something very open and direct, thinking either of them would hate it, or reject me, or something.
But their responses have put some nice smiles on my face, and been some of the warmest moments I've ever had with another human being. I guess I'm learning and relearning that the possibility of being appreciated, cared for and even loved back IS worth the risk. Gets alittle easier with Ts as good as I've been blessed with, but as for IRL people...oh, that's so very much harder.
Maybe, given more time, that will get easier, too. I'm hopeful.
poster:10derHeart
thread:587051
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/587658.html