Posted by Tamar on December 15, 2005, at 3:19:19
In reply to Re: Curiosity About Therapist/Ending Therapy » Tamar, posted by Rigby on December 14, 2005, at 20:15:21
Hi Rigby,
> I am curious about her story for some reason. But I really don't understand what it's about. I don't know exactly what I'm after but the feeling there is one of being not done with something around her.
Well, I guess there’s still some work to be done…
> I don't feel at odds with my sexuality or struggling. Maybe I wonder where the gay part of her sexuality went. It certainly seemed turned on at times with me. And I know that while I'm now in love with a guy I'm still the same person and probably still quite capable of having feelings for women too.
Yeah. I had a long relationship with a woman before I met my husband and although I’ve been married for close to ten years I still have feelings for women occasionally. I don’t know how to label myself (I think the term bisexual doesn’t really fit me), but I definitely notice women sometimes. I tend to find it goes in phases.
> I know that she won't answer *anything.* She's got super strict boundaries with me. Here's the strange thing: I want to know but when I imagine her talking about it I nearly cringe. Last week all she mentioned about herself was something about trouble sleeping when she's out of town in a hotel room and that made me cringe.
Ah. So it’ll be hard to address it if it makes you cringe. Sometimes people don’t like knowing personal things about their therapists. But I can really understand wanting to know. I suppose you must wonder how her experience is similar to yours, and how it’s different.
> Wow--*you're* generous! And super secure. Very cool that you could do that.
Well, I was standing right there. If they’d been kissing in secret I might have had something to worry about! But yeah, I’m pretty secure about my husband. I know that he’ll always come home to me, so if he occasionally kisses someone else it doesn’t really bother me, as long as it’s casual. If he fell in love with someone else, that would be another matter!
It’s very true that coming out in reverse is somewhat unusual and there aren’t many people to share experiences with. Is it something you’ve talked about much with your partner? Is he at all anxious that you might ‘revert’ one day?
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:589002
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051210/msgs/589247.html