Posted by littleone on January 19, 2006, at 20:51:58
In reply to Protecting the younger parts (long, triggers), posted by daisym on January 19, 2006, at 0:46:36
Thank you for sharing daisy.
Since Christmas I've been expecting my dad to call me and when he does I'm supposed to tell him to leave me alone until otherwise advised and I will call him when I want to restart contact.
It is very scary for me. I can't stand up to him. Whenever I see/talk to him, I fall into feeling young again which entails meekness, quietness, obediance and doing whatever I can to avoid angering him. I can't think about things, I'm just on a young autopilot.
My T has written a script for me to use. So when my dad calls I have to get my script and read it out to him. I'm supposed to do it without cutting off inside, but I don't think I will be able to do that. However, the good thing is that no matter how old I feel or how cut off I get, I just have to read the script and that's it. It even has another line or two in it to handle any questions dad might throw at me.
Anyway, I wondered if you and your T could work something out like that for when you next hear from your dad. It could be one form of protection for your younger parts when no part of you wants to stand up and protect.
I'm not sure if you're able to cut off inside to get things done or not. If you can't, this would still be pretty hard, but it might be easier than trying to think when you're engulfed with that fear/anger/etc.
You also say you freeze in situations like this. Maybe you could keep something next to your phone to ground you a little. Maybe something furry or rough. It would need to be right at eye level so you see it at the crucial moment and remember to feel it. If you could move your hand to feel it, you might be able to move your hand to hang up the phone.
It's sad how your dad is still treating you.
The Read This First letter is a good idea. It's good that you have some protection for yourself in place. I give you a gold star for that.
poster:littleone
thread:600606
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/600863.html