Posted by Michael83 on May 18, 2006, at 20:28:05
In reply to Intense Fear of Death - Some please help me., posted by Michael83 on May 18, 2006, at 1:01:37
Hello everyone, I read everyones replies and I
really thank you for your comments. I really
helps just to vent this situation.Today I felt much better than yesterday (when I
was in panic mode nearly all day), but I was still
quite jittery and I rarely took my mind off the
subject of death and religion thoughout the entire
day, going through my usual routine of debating
myself and rollercoaster ups and downs.My fears usually get worst at night, and as of
right now (8 pm), they're starting to increae, but
not nearly as much as before. I think it will be
managable tonight. I just need to get my mind
focused on something else.serena11: I think you ship annology is very
accurate. I am forcing something onto myself I do
not want, but the only reason the fear won't go
away is because of that "unknown" factor. I
defeat my logic by thinking "Is God testing me?"
"Maybe the key to heaven is to give up your own
logic and intelligence and trust God?"But those are self defeating arguments. If God
wanted us to be stupid, we would fall victim to
any one of tens of thousands of crazy religions
out there, that statisticially for the entire
world, that's unjust.I am goign to considering seeing a professional
about this, but I will take it slow with that. I
don't want to get there, and be lying down telling
the therapist my problems and all of sudden in the
first session say "oh I feel better now, thank for
the help, time to go home!" I don't want to waste
their time if this isn't going to be a lasting
problem, although so far I know it has been.madeline: Thanks for the advice. I however
wasn't trying to discount drugs. I actually wish
I could be "drugged" to be like everyone else
sometimes. I certainly consider myself very
different from most people (although you wouldn't
know it from the outside).I just want be like everyone else, live like
everyone else, not worrying so much, living life,
being social, and constantly searching for
enjoyment.Larry Hoover: I agree the volume needs to be
turned down. The problem is two things. THe
"unknown" factor. Something nobody living will
ever find out, which is what happens when you die.
And the second one is the word "eternity" which
terrifying. It's hard to turn down the volume on
that word when you have someone like me who is
constantly trying to grasp the entirety of that
word. My mind is very curious about concepts it
may come across, and sometimes it just gets out of
hand where my mind just becomes unreasonable in
it's assumptions just of the sake of discovery.And it's taking an enourmous about of engery.
It's all I think about. Not like my life depended
on it, but like my ETERNITY depended on it (which
to my mind, it thinks it does).fairywings: Thanks it's good to know others have
experienced this and overcome it. My worst one
was the one back in August of 2002 and it's was
far worst than the one I'm having now (because it
was the first attack), and after about 6 months, I
was about to be normal for the next 3 years with
only a few minor bad thoughts every there and then
(usually only at night).B2chica: I'm not currently on medication or
receiving treatment of any sort. In fact, this
message board is the first time I've ever told
anyone about this. I've gone to great lengths to
hide it from everyone when it got bad.I really do wish I didn't care like most people,
even if it meant getting "dopped up." Most people
don't really thinkg about this stuff. They just
accept it or reject. Not much thought involved
for most people. I wish I was like that.As far as my religion being good, it's already
been proved by myself to be untrue. The just
those few "what if I'm wrong?" or "what if this is
a test from God?" type fears. That's the hardest
part. I think about it night and day and debate
it over and over and read voraciously and I see no
reason why these things should be true. It's
illogical, lacks evidence, and is personally
insulting, but it's the "threat of eternity" that
still scares me. "Eternity" I really don't like
dealing with that word.orchid: I'm glad you understand. But I wish I
was born a Hindu, atleast you don't have to deal
with the word "eternity." That's a scary word.
And to add insult to injury, the eternal
punishment is not because you were bad person, but
ONLY because you did not accept a very illogical
belief system, of which no matter what you did,
you would never be able to believe. Almost like
you were born only to burn in hell and you had no
choice in the matter. That's a terrifying
thought.Poet: You reminded me, this is very similar to
when I was a little kid. When I was little I was
absolutely terrified of space aliens and ghosts.
I know most kids are, but the possible reality of
those really terrified me. I wasn't scared of the
"Boogie man," but after watching one too many UFO
documentaries, it really convinced me they could
be real and out to get me. But I managed defeat
those fears for the most part. Although I still
to this day glance around my room when I wake up
in the middle of night to make sure nothing
unEarthly is there to probe me with some sort of
alien medical instrument (but my logic kicks in
and I brush it off after a few seconds and go back
to sleep).THANK YOU VERY MUCH EVERYONE FOR YOUR REPLIES.
poster:Michael83
thread:645388
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/645639.html