Posted by madeline on May 19, 2006, at 17:55:53
Well, at least the support of a good therapist.
So as many of you may know, the bottom felt out on me this past weekend. Suicidal ideation, psychotic breaks, the whole nine yards. This was followed by extreme paranoia and anxiety. It's been a tough week.
I've seen my therapist twice this week and have talked to him everyday. We are controlling my symptoms right now with Klonopin and the desire to kill myself has passed, replaced by a very calm, tranquil feeling. I hate the benzos, but boy so they work.
I know I am getting better because my sense of smell has returned. I was walking through the grocery store today and smelled the bananas. I couldn't really smell anything else, but their scent was so wonderful. I bought several.
I wouldn't have made it if it weren't for you guys and the persistent support and guidance from my dynamite therapist. He is a psychiatrist as well, so he genuinely knows which meds would suit me the best. It's nice. I'm probably going to start on lamictal next week.
He also, several times has looked me straight in the eye, leaned forward in his chair and told me point blank that the shame that I feel is not mine to bear. It belongs with the abusers, not me. He's not going to let me forget that.
Like you guys, he's going to walk down this dark dark path with me and I am so grateful.
poster:madeline
thread:646026
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/646026.html