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Re: So what does it mean when you fall down in a hole? » happyflower

Posted by madeline on May 21, 2006, at 8:28:36

In reply to So what does it mean when you fall down in a hole?, posted by happyflower on May 21, 2006, at 7:51:30

I try not to get hung up on diagnosis as I tend to try and "match" myself to a certain illness. Sometimes, however, the desire to give a name and an explanation as to how I feel is very strong and all I want is that diagnosis. It would allow me to feel as though "this is not my fault, I'm sick".

Right now I am writing to you from the bottom of my hole. I know how you feel and it sucks.
I have several theories about the hole and falling into it.

1. It happens, not because of an established illness, but rather when we encounter something that we just don't have the coping skills to deal with it. Our hurt outstrips our capacity to deal. Hence the freefall.

2. For me, bipolar disorder can not be ruled out. Sometime sudden depression is the primary symptom of bipolar and the mania is quite mild.

3. It is an offshoot of PTSD.

4. It is depression.

During this time in the hole, I'm trying to look at it like I am like "gopher" from winnie the pooh. Gopher spends most of his life in holes and is quite happy there. He even has a little miner's hat so he can see in his hole. That image usually makes me laugh.

So get your miner's cap, turn on the light and look around in your hole.

And keep us posted.

Love

Maddie.


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