Posted by Dr. D on May 25, 2006, at 11:56:42
In reply to Re: questions about bipolar, hypomania, and meds, posted by B2chica on May 25, 2006, at 11:08:05
> Hi Dr.D.
> first i want to say hello and welcome to babble.
> they will most likely redirect this thread over to the meds board (the main psycho-babble board). you questions will best be answered over there. this board is more for talk about therapy and such.- Okidoki... I'll see what happens... hope someone will transfer us :)
>
> but
> i'm not sure about the hypomania, because it did happen right after you stopped smoking/drinking etc. this was enough to clean you out and let you realize what you could do after years of depressing your system. keep in mind you mentioned these behaviors had been going on since early adolescents.
> however, it does seem like you are suffering from depression (no sh@t right).- The depression is quite real, although it could be due to work as much as hereditary. I've been wondering whether with me, it's not also environmental. I HAVE been under a LOT of stress the last few years. But my father is bipolar, my mom is often depressed and bipolar is strong in my father's side (one of his sisters committed suicide). But I'm hoping that what you say is indeed true - that my "hypomania" is simply my natural state. It is with my father, at any rate.
>
> well, first, is there a reason you don't think your pdoc is bright? and are you able to find a different one? it is crucial that you find a pdoc that you can trust and be very open and honest with.- He admitted himself that he doesn't know much about certain meds; he only does 'shrinking' part-time (his fulltime job is helping people who are in the slammer). He also seems rather insecure for a psychiatrist. Now maybe I've been spoiled in the past, but previous shrinks were able to keep up with me mentally and I had some quite stimulating discussions with them. I'm lacking that here. But I'll try him a bit longer and see what happens, I can always switch and my insurance pays all...
> a mood stabilizer is pretty common for those folks diagnosed with BP, but there is more risk for shooting into mania from AD then from mood stabilizers (not to say it doens't happen...it does). i haven't heard of depakine so i can't comment on that. others may be able to. and the other meds you mentioned are pretty well established meds. again on the meds board you will get comments from those that have taken these.
>
> IMHO i do infact think that what you mentioned earlier was not necessarily a hypomanic state but may infact be a natural state for you (not knowing exactly what your emotions were like during that time-just taking into consideration your surrounding environment). so it's possible that you were experiencing life for the first time without drugs or depression and with a life goal.> to be honest, i can't say i know anyone that 'wants' to stay in hypomania due to its effects so i'm not sure how meds could control that nor would i advise it. No offense but to be blunt it sounds like you are looking for a similar 'rush' to what you experienced before. though hypomania i've heard can be 'addicting'. Either way what you've expressed is an addictive behavior and you may want to consider this Carefully before you rush into testing meds. this could also lead you to more damaging narcotics. Have you happened to mention any of this to your pdoc? i'm just wondering, maybe that's why he's suggested a moodstabilizer??
- You're quite right. I really enjoyed that time and would dearly like to be 'back' there again. I was productive, thoughts were fast but not impossible, I had a lot of ideas and impulses but they were manageable. Memory was nearly flawless, libido was good, I didn't gripe myself for past mistakes (as happens obsessively during depression), I could go up to and talk to any girl and actually have something to say, I was amusing to myself and my friends. Who wouldn't want to be like that for life? I also remember thinking back then that if I stayed that way for life, life would not only be bearable but actually quite fun.
I haven't mentioned that to my shrink yet for exactly that reason - I wanted to see what he suggested on basis of his perceptions of me and my general history alone. I described it, of course, but didn't tell him I would like to be that way for life if possible. I'll probably do that a few sessions from now. For now I want to gather as much intel as possible about meds and ramifications of both depression and bipolar disorder; I prefer to look before I leap, and this is probably the most important decision I'll be making any time soon since it directly influences all other choices I may make. I basically want an overview of all the current meds on the market, their pros/cons, their side effects and people's experiences. Since it's hard for me to tell whether I'm bipolar or 'just' depressed, I may have to gamble on one or the other, but I'm not doing that without a LOT of research.
I slightly shrink away from mood stabilizers though, because I've heard firsthand from my cousin (father's side) how utterly zombifying that can be, and my Uebergoal, if you will, is to live life fully, be helpful, and advance myself socially and spiritually. I want to continue to grow, and in my honest opinion, depression is shrinking (you 'fall back', especially if you have a history of bad habits which you can and will fall back into); and 'normalcy' is stagnation. I was able to tweak and fix more of my bad habits and problems during that short happy period than I had in my whole life beforehand. I was sublimely aware of myself, my actions and their effects upon others, and was effortlessly happy. I wouldn't be surprised if that state isn't what all those eastern mystics are on about - spiritual being, and all that. And that may suggest that there are more factors to the equation than genetics; it might well just be a question of proper balance, food, exercise etcetera.
>
> as for med 'imprint', this varies from person to person. i've known some that need to be medicated for the rest of their life. they go off it for a week and they are in crisis. i have also heard of others taking it for a few years and tapering slowly off and only taking meds for maintenance once in a while. sometimes taking meds in combination with thearpy is the best answer. i strongly suggest this for you.
>Well, the ball is rolling, so I'm certainly going to try :)
> again, you will get much better replies on the meds board. there are some really intelligent folks over there.
>
> good luck and please becareful
> b2cthanks for your time!
poster:Dr. D
thread:648326
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/648370.html