Posted by Racer on July 26, 2006, at 19:41:25
In reply to Re: Of nightmares and transference and shame » Racer, posted by sunnydays on July 25, 2006, at 22:31:47
Today the session was scattered -- I went in with a laundry list, but it did include the whole thing from yesterday.
Including the part about not wanting to call her.
She's pleased that I did call her, and told me again that it's OK on her end, and a good sign in our therapy. We talked some about why it's so hard for me, and I just realized she triggered one of my OCDish things: she told me, "now, if you were calling fifty times a day, it might be a problem." Well, that immediately tells me, "Uh-oh, that means it really is a problem, because sometimes I *want* to call more often..." Grrr! Please, Sir, may I have another brain? I don't think this one is working properly...
Anyway, we talked about transference a bit -- although she never used that word ;-) -- and then talked about my lack of soothing. That was probably the theme today. Soothing. I do pretty well on the reacting-then-using-logic part, but that's all I do: react, then think. I don't have the soothing part at all, didn't have it as a kid, and certainly don't get it from my husband. (My ex was pretty good at it, though. Sometimes I miss him for that.)
We also decided that I'm like those Chinese thumbcuffs: the more you pull, the tighter they get, so you have to relax and push a bit to get your thumbs out? That's me, in a nutshell. (Of course that's where I am: after all, I'm a nut, right?)
There was more, but I can't really remember it right now. What do you all think? Should I call and tell her that I realized part of the hesitancy to call is that she's said it would be a problem if I did it too often? *g*
I dunno...
poster:Racer
thread:670513
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/670874.html