Posted by ElaineM on August 16, 2006, at 21:10:33
In reply to Re: Not so low :-) but with questions » ElaineM, posted by annierose on August 15, 2006, at 20:39:33
Annierose: I see what you're saying now. I'm always thoroughly confused. My head is just not clear these days -- my heart isn't either.
>>>>I wish you could find a therapist and keep your "t" (and I am using that term loosely) as a boyfriend.
No -- That's the first thing that came to my mind when I read that. I mean, I always want to please him. I want to please everyone. All of you too. But I don't want him to be my boyfriend (I wouldn't choose that, if I had the luxury of choice). For some reason, it makes a difference that he's my T too. I think I would've run away from him a long time ago. Being able to call him my "T" makes him seem safe -- like it's an innoculation against ever being hurt. Or something. But I think it's more than that in some way. I'm not understanding why it is frightening for me to think of him without the T title.
Why do I feel like this?
>>>>I'm sorry I'm not being more supportive. I wish I could find the words to be more supportive. I know you need support. And I'm glad you feel that from him.
Don't be sorry. It is nice of you to say anything at all. I'm sorry myself -- I know this is a bad subject. I know I should act better -- I guess I'm stubborn that way. Or maybe just desperate. Probably both. So I'm sorry that I keep putting people through threads like this. There is no one else for me to talk to about this -- I mean, I would've had to have alot of help and support and answers if I was trying to re-learn how to have a relationship with a regular man. I would still be having a million problems then. But this has happened, with this person, and I'm trying to.........I don't know what I'm trying to say, I'm sorry.
Would it make a difference if I just didn't refer to him as my "T" anymore? Or does that not really matter.
(((annierose))) Sorry I'm stupid.
poster:ElaineM
thread:676776
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/677252.html