Posted by antigua on August 18, 2006, at 9:34:47
So, I went to see my pdoc last night--we haven't been getting along lately because of the "memories" issue (he's a scientist/dr and wants PROOF that they're real, and from my perspective, as long as I learn something from them they are real to me. Plus, I know the ones I have are real and he can't sway me.)
In any case, for some reason, instead of just doing meds management he is into therapy with me now. Last night he told me that my core problem was the ambivalence that I feel about my father. Well, duh... Iknew that, but he made me see it differently. He said to think about how we all have ambivalent feelings about people in our life and we find healthy (not self-destructive) ways to deal with them. I don't know, it's like he cracked it open for me.
When I deal with my ambivalence toward people IRL, I weigh the pros and cons and decide which way to go with them on a particular incident--it's not always the same, but it's the weighing that's important.
But I get stuck doing that with my father. The list of positive things is far outweighed by the negative, life-changing things, but the ambivalence balances out--I see them as equal.
What should I do? How do I deal with this ambivalence? Any ideas?
Also, I had my first appt with the hypnotist this week and it went fine. He checked to see if I would be receptive (I am) and tried a small exercise but he never put me in a trance, which he says is not unusual. He DID make it very clear that the memories that come up may be false, so I'm very aware of it. I'm thinking of them like dreams--hopefully something useful will come out of them. (And no, I didn't tell my pdoc; he doesn't approve.)
And my T is out of town. Waah
Any ideas?
thanks,
antigua
poster:antigua
thread:677710
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060808/msgs/677710.html