Posted by youngaddict on January 19, 2007, at 17:52:02
ok
i had another session with my T today. I have been noticing that she has been seemingly annoyed with me.. like first I thought she was disapointed, then I thought maybe she was upset now I think shes just annoyed. She had a completly different posture, tones, everything today and I coudl chalk it up to her having a bad day, not feeling well, etc.. cause they are human. or i could think shes annoyed with me, i bother her, she hates me. etc... i tend to think the latter because lets be honest, i have some transference issues going on and because she had never ever behaved this way. Shes always the same every week. never cracks a smile, never says how shes doing, nothing. very proffessional but it makes me want to know more about her. REGARDLESS today she told me " i can't save you." and it CRUSHED me. because i know she is right, i am looking for someone (ie her) to save me and she can't. i have a disease called addiction and i am a drug addict. and i have to do something about it or whats the point of therapy? i mean its wasting time right if all i do is get high and not try to change. ??but really deep down in my messed up little girl heart i feel abandoned and i wonder why she is being this way? is she playing some part with me to aid in my healing,... or more likely she is just annoyed with me.
whatever the reason i feel sick
poster:youngaddict
thread:724145
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/724145.html