Posted by Tamar on January 26, 2007, at 16:09:53
A weird thing happened in therapy. I'm feeling a bit freaked out, especially after last week, when I gave him the finger without intending to!
I was telling him about my feelings of rejection one time a few weeks ago when my husband and I had planned to have sex that evening, and then when evening came my husband seemed to have forgotten the plan and settled down in front of the TV.
I told my therapist, "So I went to bed by myself." And then I added, "Which isn't the same thing at all."
And that would be fine if I had actually gone to bed by myself in order to have a bit of solo sex. But in fact I hadn't; I'd cried myself to sleep.
I don't know why I said it. I heard the words in my head as I was saying them and I knew it wasn't right, but I didn't know what to do about it. I feel so uncomfortable discussing sexual things with my therapist that I can't imagine why I would have led him to believe that I went for some quality time with my vibrator, when in fact nothing of the kind occurred.
What's wrong with me? Am I trying to hide my real feelings? Or am I trying to tell him something I don't want him to know? I feel as if I'm going completely crazy. And I absolutely hate lying, so somehow I'm going to have to tell him about this... I really don't know how.
poster:Tamar
thread:726807
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070119/msgs/726807.html