Posted by widget on February 5, 2007, at 11:58:05
In reply to Re: from Ms. Schmidt: therapist self disclosure, posted by widget on February 5, 2007, at 8:26:28
> My dilemna is this: in therapy, we are supposed to be emotionally honest. I am being emotionally honest when I tell my psychiatrist/therapist that I love him. It is a real entity. He counter that it is transference. I have come to agree. My point is that it is both transference and love. Negating the feeling I have of love is negating or invalidating my inner reality which is what I assumed would not happen in therapy. I don't understand why we cannot talk about my feeling instead of him dismissing it as "transference" which I will grow out of. And, I may. However, I, in therapy, have begun to learn to trust myself and my feelings. Therefore, do I trust me or do I, as I have all my life, negate me in order to agree with him and make him comfortable.
> I wonder why he cannot address my feeling toward him or accept that a lot of my feeling is due to him and his desirable and admirable characteristics. Until now, he has always validated what I have expressed to him. That is what has made this such good therapy and why I begin to trust him. And, I have told him this; that this is the one time he cannot validate the inner (real) me. So, do I put on the fake me? Sounds couterproductive, indeed.
> I am left with wondering why he is so uncomfortable with my feelings directed at him. Yes, the feelings are intense. Perhaps, he really doesn't like me and I am grossing him out.
> I am seriously confused and stuck in the therapy at this point. I need him to let me know the therapy can handle these feelings and deal with them instead of reading my Miranda rights about transference. Of course, the other possibility is that he is just uncomfortable hearing good things about himself and must automatically label such as due to transference in order to protect himself for whatever reason. I am feeling like his therapist. According to the book, In Session, this is called "gaslighting." It basically means I feel crazy for having these feelings when they are dismissed and not dealt with. He told me it was ok for us to disagree and that's fine, but I thought he would help me look more closely at this which is the only way I think it can be resolved. Thanks for reading. I'm confused.
I have been in therapy with him for 3 1/2 years and only began to experience these intense feelings 6 months ago.
poster:widget
thread:316425
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070203/msgs/729973.html