Posted by gazo on March 22, 2007, at 17:03:12
I am sorry that i kinda barged into this place..story of my life really. I told you I am female, seeing a male T (both former and new are men), I'm 30-something and in Canada. I don't know what else I can say because I have strong fears about being identified. I was once stalked.
Ok. I decided to sit down and write my new T a letter. I have a crisis brewing on the horizon and I don't want to waste a lot of my 50 minutes asking him this stuff. I have a REALLY hard time asking for things, or asking certain types of questions as I have anxiety about boundaries, appropriateness, etc. It would take me the whole session just to get half of the questions asked.
I am asking questions like whether he uses other techniques outside of CBT, can i call him if i need to, will he continue with me as long as I feel i need him?
But i am terrified. I don't know if I can trust him yet, but i am losing the one person I DO trust. i can't survive having this guy decide he's not right for me. What if when I ask about dealing with past traumas he thinks I need someone who does longer term? What if I ask about calling him and he thinks I am too difficult?
What if he doesn't get it that I need him to really probe me in order for me to tell him things I am dying to express to somebody? What if he turns out not to be very intuitive?
What if he hates me? or I bore him?
i know i frustrated my lsat T because I am so very stuck in a particular pattern. I am very convincing and hard headed.. it's not that I don't want to change but he has to be able to reach the me that is hiding inside here.
How do i get this across to him? I am afraid I will scare him away. I know sometimes T's don't want to take on difficult people.
i don't know where my termination anxiety ends and where my anciety over the new guy begins! Add in that powerful transference and a contract deadline and you've got a large explosion about to happen. :(
poster:gazo
thread:743274
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/743274.html