Posted by slugdoo on July 23, 2007, at 19:29:53
In reply to Re: Dear T , » slugdoo, posted by LadyBug on July 23, 2007, at 18:24:11
I just don't know if I can do this. I know I need to, but I am so scared right now. Is it safe to open the can of sh*t?
I have yoga and a workout before my session so I hope that will calm me. I no longer have to do physical therapy as of today, so my physical body isn't hurting, now just my mental.
What if I open this can, and I go insane? What if I have to be hospitalized?
What if I can't do it (emdr) because of all the self defenses I have built up over time.
What if my T rejects me, says he can't do that intense therapy (couple time a week). Most of his clients are every other week.
I guess I shouldn't be thinking what if's, but I am thinking WTF am I doing.I put my abuse in a nice neat package , wrapped just so nice with lots of ribbon for reinforcement, in happy colors to cover up the poisen inside. I guess I am a lot like that package too. What if all I am is abuse and when it is unwrapped, there will nothing else. I am so f*cking scared. I have never felt so frightened in my life.
poster:slugdoo
thread:771414
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/771471.html