Posted by twinleaf on September 13, 2007, at 23:28:09
In reply to Re: Where's Dinah? » Happyflower 1 :-), posted by Dinah on September 13, 2007, at 7:49:02
Dinah, I felt very badly for you when I read your thread. What you are describing sounds as if it might be a state of derealization. Do you think it could be? Last winter, after the horrible experience I had with my previous T., I had that, and it lasted until I got to my new T, and even afterwards. It slowly went away as I formed an attachment to him. It's the worst feeling in the world- like you've lost yourself and are just sort of a fake person. I brought it up with my new T. quite soon, because it was so unbearable. He told me something very interesting- that it typically happens after the loss of an important person or relationship. Even though that had just happened to me, I didn't make the connection at all. And I was certain, while I was in that state, that it would last forever- absolutely certain of it. But it's completely gone now.
You mentioned feeling that you needed to withdraw from people- I'm assuming your husband and son- because you have the feeling that your presence might be hurtful to them. During the time I felt that way, I did exactly the same thing. I felt that I should stay away from my sons because somehow interacting with me would be destructive to them. I felt the same way about my husband, too. This has all disappeared over the course of the summer, as I have come to feel more securely attached to my new T., so I do think he was correct as to the cause of it all.
Are you dealing with anything similiar-the loss of someone very important, or a big change in a relationship? I don't know how often you see your T. now- it has sounded as though that relationship is going very well. If you are only going once or twice a week, do you think it might help to increase the frequency of your sessions for a while, at least?
I'm so sorry this is happening- it's so awful it should never happen to anyone. I, and I know also many others here, will have you in our hearts and minds as you find a way to get back to feeling like the real, wonderful you.
poster:twinleaf
thread:782550
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/782778.html