Posted by moonlightsonata on March 10, 2008, at 0:31:29
I am incredibly attracted to my female therapist. I am a woman, too, and I am more attracted to her than I've ever been to a man. And the scary thing is - I'm not scared about it. If I imagine having sexual feelings for a female friend of coworker, it would freak me out so badly. But with my therapist, I fantasize about her all the time, and feel like it's natural, and feel like I'm entitled to take pleasure in the fantasies.....like they're not dangerous. Are they dangerous???
Sometimes- and please don't judge, I know this is weird - I imagine being a fly on the wall and watching her day and night. I want to watch her sleep with her husband. I want to learn from her, I want to learn how she pleases a man, and also how she wants to be pleasured. Is that insane. I want to see her in her everyday life. I want to know what she has for breakfast, what she wears around the house, how she interacts with her husband.
I listen to myself and realize I sound totally obsessed, and I worry that I should be worried, but I crave the fantasies and the pleasure they give me, and I don't want to give that up.
If I were to tell her about these thoughts, would she think I'm a monster??? How uncomfortable would she be talking about this, or hearing it??? I want her to like and admire me, so there's a lot I hide inside, a lot of thoughts I don't dare share. I dont' know what to do.
poster:moonlightsonata
thread:817033
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080226/msgs/817033.html