Posted by Happyflower on June 8, 2008, at 12:11:25
I don't know if I will be able to post this, my computer is having connection issues, the repair guy is coming tomorrow.
But I am feeling my anxiety growing, it is Father's Day next weekend, and normally me and my kids plan a fun day for my DH. His other kids(adults) want to take him out for dinner this year probably without me and my kids of course. They haven't done anything for years, so we usually plan without them now because they haven't come when we invited them for years now. The same exclusion thing again with them because one of them still have problems accepting her dad has remarried and has a family now. A lot of bad baggage of hurt has come from this stepdaughter of my mine, she has hurt the entire family including her own siblings. Well now she and my DH are trying to patch things up. Which I am happy for. But she is up to her old tricks again, wanting her dad all to herself. Kinda like a denial thing.
Well my kids do a lot of special things for him, and it has become a tradition. I told my DH that they could come to the brunch before the ballgame or both, but my daughter has a special dinner planned for us 4.
I feel like such the bad guy for saying Hey, you should respect your daughter, the one who lives with you, to allow her tradition to continue with you and this dinner. She doesn't want to cook for everyone, 4(us) and up to 10 extra if the rest came. But I could handle a brunch with everyone, but my daughter wants to do this special dinner.In the beginning we always had to plan our celebrations and holidays around them, when they could come. But now, we feel like we are just as deserving to have our traditional family stuff, and they can work around us some. I think since they want to take him out to dinner they should do it another day, and let my daughter plan her small traditional dinner. They are welcome to come to the brunch and game, I think that is making a good compromise. I just hate when this all happens, and we are expected to give up everything with our family, to accommodate them.
I see my T on Tuesday to talk to him about this, but in the meantime I feel my anxiety building and I am tired of being the bad guy here. Am I being selfish here?
poster:Happyflower
thread:833618
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080524/msgs/833618.html