Posted by nebulae on August 9, 2008, at 18:15:59
My therapy was going great. We were approaching two years. I have made a huge progress, and last sessions my therapist has commented how well i work during sessions and how much more open i have become.
Last week after our session, while i was still in his office, his wife came to pick him up. I heard her ring the bell, and when he came back after opening the door and telling me who it was, i became quite upset, but did not elaborate, since it was time for me to leave.
I do have transference towards my therapist. It used to be huge. Then, quite a long time ago, when i really started to change, it subsided considerably, but was still there. I would ask him questions about his marriage, and show him at times my jealousy. But again, nothing out of the ordinary. And we would talk about it, and move on.
So when i came back home that evening, i was very hurt by his wife's picking him up, and i called him and left a very nasty voicemail about how i hated him, etc.
I called him again several days after, and he informed me that i had to look for another therapist because my transference is too strong, it's causing me pain and further therapy is not possible. I was crushed and in total disbelief. What??? This was going exceptionally well!!! All of a sudden--it's not a workable situation.
I am devastated. He first said he'd see me again in a couple of months, but in the meantime i need to find someone else. I begged him to let me come in this week, and first he firmly refused, but after a desperate email, said that we can set up a time next week.
What is going on?! How can he just drop me like this? Why can't we talk about my voicemail and transference? Again, my transference isn't even that strong anymore! Why is he reacting this way? Is it also because i was rude? But why can't we talk about it?
I feel absolutely terrible. I need him. This is some kind of mistake. I am terrified to go to my next, and last (!) session. I always felt so lucky to have found him and i appreciate him so much. Who i am right now would not be possible without him. How can he do this to me? This is crazy. I wouldn't even have any left over feelings about his wife coming in by the time i'd see him again. He is blowing my transference out of proportion.
Is it possible he will change his mind? And what does he want to accomplish by taking a break and then finishing with me? Why is he finishing with me?
poster:nebulae
thread:845212
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/845212.html