Posted by sassyfrancesca on September 18, 2008, at 13:07:28
In reply to Re: T Touching Himself » sassyfrancesca, posted by Dinah on September 18, 2008, at 12:23:58
> > Dear Dinah: Thankyou....
I do have wonderful female friends, but no one I can spend any time with, other than at work.
>
> I can see why you would feel so attached to your therapist, if he's the only person you spend any time with outside work.
>
> Maybe it's too hard for you to leave your therapist right now. It is.But given the inappropriate behavior he described, and given that your funds will run out soon, maybe this is the part of your life that you need to work on changing right now. Oh, I know...
>
> I am not so good at social stuff myself, but I have seen how people can forge strong relationships outside of a traditional family bond.Actually, I am a social butterfly! I went back to school at age 61, won a scholarship, went to Hawaii for the American Counseling Association Convention, have a poetry website with almost 15,000 hits, written my memoir, and am a dancer, singer, writer, etc....
>
> I often relate the story of a woman I know who was very active in a hobby club. She gave a lot to the club and was much loved in return. She wasn't married. Had no children. But her funeral was the most attended I have ever seen. They had to hold it up a couple of days so that everyone could come in from out of town. The place was not only packed, but it wasn't a pro forma sort of pay your respects. These were people who loved her and would miss her. Wow.....
>
> My point is that it is possible to build relationships outside of a romantic one. yes, I know. Is there anything you enjoy doing?Dancing, singing, writing.... Are there any clubs in your area that would involve things you enjoy doing? Not in my immediate area; although when I can I attend things I like...I went to hear Elie Wiesel (survivor of Auschwitz), and met an amazing man (I would have married him instantly and forgotten ALL about my t, believe it or not)...Elie Wiesel had written to me about my poetry; so honored and humbled.
em I've heard of astronomy clubs, doll clubs, dog clubs, knitting circles, dance groups, exercise clubs. I realize that religion is probably a sore spot for you, so I won't suggest that source of companionship. Thanks! LOL
>
> If you can't bear to tear yourself away from your therapist, maybe we can suggest ways for you to build a network of relationships apart from your therapist, so that you won't be solely relying on him?I am so resourceful, and have wracked my brain on how to get out there. I may go to a nice restaurant (trendy, upscale) in my area Friday night, but unfortunately...alone); I have been doing things alone all of my life.
Then you'll be able to make the choice that you think is healthiest for you.
>
> You seem to be an outgoing and gregarious person. What do you see are the obstacles to establishing other connections?I really don't know; if I had friends who would/could go out, I would be out every night, LOL, LOL
Hugs, Sassy
poster:sassyfrancesca
thread:852422
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080906/msgs/852670.html