Posted by pegasus on January 5, 2009, at 10:23:39
In reply to Re: I wish my Mom breast-fed me for a long time, posted by Maria01 on January 4, 2009, at 19:04:58
I breast fed my daughter until her 3rd birthday, and stopped then only because I needed to conserve my own nutritional resources to recover from a major surgery. The consequences I've been living with from my decision to breast feed for a relatively long time include: a securely attached child, who is articulate about what she needs, polite and concerned about others, imaginative, great at independent play, comfortable in new situations, and very affectionate. In addition, she's been extremely healthy, and has experienced no more than an occasional cold during her almost 4 years of life so far. I haven't seen any evidence of problems with boundaries (e.g, no grabbing at my breasts or clinginess, or any sign of inappropriate relationship with me - IMHO), and she's definitely developing at a normal rate. Moreover, since around 6 months on, she happily ate solid food in addition to breast milk. As a 1- and 2-year-old he could not have survived on breast milk alone, as most kids could not. Going into her second year, breast feeding became largely a comforting, calming tool for her, and for me. Plus a way for her to get an additional nutritional boost. I think it really helped her learn how to comfort herself, which is something she's great at now. She's invented a wide variety of tools for self comfort at this point.
I know not all mothers choose to breast feed, nor are all able to. I think it's really critical for moms to take care of themselves around that, as well as taking care of their babies. If a mom is having an awful experience, or beating herself up about failing to breastfeed, then that's not good for the child or mom, for sure. And yet, based on my experience, I think when breast feeding does work, it can be a hugely positive experience for both child and mother. I really don't think it *necessarily* goes along with any significant negative consequences.
I completely understand Deneb's wish to have been held close, nurtured, and comforted by her mom for as long as possible. Sure, there are lots of ways to get that . . . and breastfeeding is one of the most powerful. When I nursed my daughter, I always felt that wish too, for my younger myself. I often felt that I was re-parenting (the right way this time) my own inner toddler as I was nurturing my daughter in a way she so clearly cherished. So, Deneb, maybe you will have a chance to do that for yourself and your own child someday too. Whether you breastfeed or not.
Peg
poster:pegasus
thread:872044
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081219/msgs/872350.html