Posted by B2chica on January 9, 2009, at 10:58:47
but LOTS of emotions and confusion going along with it.
i'm pregnant.
but i'm all kinds of freaking out.
one, i'm very emotional unlike my last preg., but i also just stopped taking my AD last week when i started to get symptoms...i took a test then and it was negative but i figured it might just be too soon...then sure enough..positive.-but i've already had a couple nightmares about my 'family' hurting me while i'm preg and vulnerable.
-i've been crying off and on this week.
-but the main thing is since it started i was worried that i'd have twins (since i had to do fert. meds). but i've thought about it so long that i am TOTALLY fine with it and in fact dont see this preg as anything BUT with twins.
-but looking back at my 'chart', now im paranoid that there could be more! i mean i think i may have ovulated twice (my T said that's what happened to her), and the second time i ovulated i had cramps so i could have release 2 eggs!
so now i'm FREAKING out that there could be more than two.-i was originally scheduled to have my sonogram next tues after my t appt. but i think i will seriously need support so i just called and changed it to 10:30 tuesday.
so.
now i am just trying to calm myself. i mean financially alone there is NO way we could afford triplets, but let alone emotional support. my husband would probably go off the deep end. and i KNOW i would have no family support on my end.
i'm just scared to death.but on the other hand, my T asked yesterday if the sonogram reveals that there's only one how would i feel. she was concerned that i would feel a loss. and i told her absolutely. just everything in my body tells me there's more than one inside me. and i've gotten so used to that, that if there's only one, i WILL feel like i lost one. even though i haven't.
********************
so even though i should be enjoying myself right now...i can't. i'm just so worried about next tues. when my whole world could change. and well, will change no matter what.i guess too i've been waiting what seems like forever for this next baby and i just pray it/they are healthy.
please pray for me that there are only two!
b2c.+
poster:B2chica
thread:872953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/872953.html