Posted by muffled on January 14, 2009, at 16:32:30
In reply to Re: Good blurb bout D.I.D. » muffled, posted by antigua3 on January 14, 2009, at 15:44:32
> Hi muffled,
*hey you! :)
> I'm not sure which of your posts I really wanted to respond to, but the last one will at least get your attention! (I hope, anyway)
*you allus get my attn :) Though I not s'posed to be posting!!! LOL. Just this whole DD topic is so dear to my heart.
> I hope you can tell your friend about what's going on w/you and that you will get the response you hope for. You know to be careful with that because sometimes people who don't fully understand, no matter how great a person, or friend, they are to us, sometimes they just don't get it. So take care about that, ok?*Oh man,LOL! I am being careful! I am many, many months circling round this. I think she MAY have a clue, I dunno. I mean I AM a bit odd at best, but what does the odd cover up?guess a person can't know. BUT I have asked her to tape the United states of Tara show for me, and sent her a link to the Kluft interview. (she is a T so thot she might be interested...ROFL!!!!)And she knows I go to a T that has DD as one of her specialties....
One of her best friends thru T school has worked w/DID people B4, least one anyways for sure, so its likely my friend is open to the whole DD thing.
Though when I tell her..I am thinking....so what THEN???? I am still gonna hide the others, try to allus be in control....so whats the point? I think she likely knows already cuz of things I have said. She is just being wise and not saying anything until I do. But.....tgh...I just dunno. I am so tired of being alone in this...:(
> Another thing. My mind races to pure rage whenever the FMS is brought up, and for me, I know that's a defense. I know memories can be incomplete, or totally lacking and brought back maybe in pieces, because it has happened to me, but for anyone, thing or organization to imply that my memories aren't real only reinforces my belief that these things didn't happen to me. And that's dangerous for me. It makes me lose all perspective and regress into some sort of acceptance that I made this all up, etc., which has done huge damage to my progress.*well the very mechanism of dissociation lends itself to denial of all kinds. Not one of its more wonderful points.
I last week had a terrible time with a part that newly(relatively) fully arrived and was really nasty about denial etc. It did not beleive there was any DD or 'others' etc and caused a GREAT deal of upset. Fortunately it seems to have backed off. But while it was there, there was NO use of therapy...:(
> So I try to trust my instincts. It's so very hard to do.*How to trust? Its all so friggin changeable...how do we know what is real???WHO is "real",arrgghhh LOL! don't get me started down THAT road! I'll crash Bobs server!
But seriously, its true, the body apparently remembers stuff the brain doesn't. Like I told my T bout flinching in a certain situation, and she was trying to explain (to a VERY skeptical) me, that the flinch, was the body remembering and responding in kind to a situation in the past. (WHAT I have no clue). It was like a warning response to something it perceived as danger. Not danger in the now obvo, but a response from a danger that was in my past.
Its crazymaking all this stuff isn't it?
I hope you can learn to trust.
> I respect so much the effort you've put into trying to understand your situation. You work incredibly hard at it, and that comes across here every time you post about this.*awww <blush>, thank you, you won't know it, but I REALLY needed that. T yesterday SUCKED.
> Actually, I'm not sure I'm saying what I want. Maybe I'm not sure what I want to say, except I think you're great and I wish I could be half as honest with myself as you are.*ROFL! I have my moments....you shoulda heard me when R-me was here last week....honest...NOT!!! Its ultimate answer when it couldn't answer was 'well its just riduculous, it can't be", a non-answer. I am GLAD its not here right now.
> antigua,
> who doesn't want anyone else who posted on this thread to think this is directed toward them. If I had the guts, I would start my own thread on FMS.*Can you imagine!!!!a thread on FMS! Best take THAT to POLITICS board!!! I hear its lively there!
Thanks for the pick me up antigua.
I haven't been reading babble(cept this thread) cuz I am trying to stay away, and if I read, I want to come back :(
so I don't know if you have posted. I hope things are OK for you. You have been much help to me in the past and I thank you.
M
poster:muffled
thread:873082
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/873991.html