Posted by yellowbird01 on January 14, 2009, at 19:00:50
In reply to Re: Hurtful diagnoses » yellowbird01, posted by obsidian on January 14, 2009, at 18:04:47
Thank you everyone for the wonderful responses. All the responses feel very validating to me and that's exactly what I needed I think.
I definitely plan to ask her clearly how exactly I qualify for BPD. I may even bring the DSM criteria with me (although I'm sure she has them too) and let her explain to me step by step how I qualify. If she can give me a good explanation, fine, but I really dont think it's there. What everyone said about this is right on the mark... the label itself, and the focus on it, feels very invalidating. I like what was said about "diagnoses are like name calling". That's exactly how it feels! I've tried to explain that to T but it never seems to get through. I work in mental health and with patient's diagnoses... I KNOW how borderline is thought of within the field and it isnt pretty.
I'll admit that a few years ago maybe I did qualify... I'm not sure. But I've grown a LOT in the past 2-3 years - from multiple hospitalizations and being unable to work, to now successfully doing a full time job and functioning fairly well. It makes me feel like just throwing my hands up and giving up on all the things I currently work so hard at and all the progress I've made. If I'm working this hard and STILL this terribly flawed... to the extent that my entire personality, in every area of my life, is severely disordered... it doesnt feel worth the effort to continue what I have been doing because "healthy" is going to be totally unreachable. As I said before, I know therapy is work, and often slow work. I know I'm not perfect and still struggle. Heck, it'd save me a LOT of money to quit therapy! I'm willing to work. I dont even care so much what T *thinks* in her head... she can diagnose me whatever she wants in her mind as long as I'm still having productive therapy. But this just isnt fair and it HURTS.
My T is wonderful in so many other ways. She's smart, empathetic, right on top of things most of the time. This is one issue we just cant seem to get past.
I'm tempted to email my T and explain this to her, no response requested. E-mail is very much okay with her. But now I'm fearful... afraid that by emailing between sessions or harping on this topic or anything will be further evidence of BPD. I'll think on that a bit tonight.
((((((Everyone)))))) thank you.
poster:yellowbird01
thread:873850
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/874030.html