Posted by surfergirl on June 23, 2009, at 0:28:28
I have my first therapy appt years this Thursday. I have been in a bad panic/depression/anxiety attack of some sort all day. I have felt these off & on for a couple of weeks. I am thinking way too much about all my past issues that are leaking back into my present (BPD in youth, mood swings,depression, trauma, etc) I am not suicidal but feel emotionally raw & very sad. I am second guessing my desire to start therapy. I am afraid of opening Pandora's box. I did send my new potential therapist an email about my fears/situation. Unintentionally, I did not tell him about my BPD past history & now fear he will not want to see me so I gave him a way out. I also left a message for my PD thinking that my meds (adderal XR twice a day & xyrem) might be making me worse. I took a xanax earlier & exercised...still not touching it. I am going to try not to think about how much I hate this but do deep breathing & try to find a happy place (ha)
surfergirl
poster:surfergirl
thread:902700
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/902700.html