Posted by floatingbridge on September 15, 2011, at 0:09:46
As I continue separating from a harmful 'therapeutic' relationship, the obvious realization just occurred today.
'We' had recreated my dad.
I had not seen how irrational a thinker my ex-doc/T could be. However, I think that's why I picked him.
While the details are ugly, the gloss is that my ex proved incapable of remaining a steady rational source for me.
When I flailed, he became hysterical. When I gathered independence, he became controlling, judgemental, and disapproving. Was he threatened? I didn't mean to. There is little joy in that idea for me. His very last control seemed to be the withholding of medication, communication, and now my records.Somehow, my father and I grew beyond this immature relationship. (Well, yes, it took a few decades.)
When I go to my new pdoc's office, I pass the freeway exit for my old pdoc/T. Today, I found myself quietly extending my middle finger at his exit, down low below the dashboard. It was the enervated gesture of a bored, irritated teenager.
Oh well. What can I say? It's like, that old joke, a funny thing happened to me along the way in therapy.....
I dig a pony.
poster:floatingbridge
thread:996814
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20110823/msgs/996814.html