Posted by k9lover on November 4, 2014, at 15:15:46
Haven't been here in years....
My wife disclosed to me last night that my (I thought serious) suicide attempt last year was considered by my doctor as being "attention seeking". Not a "real attempt". It was my only attempt while I lived there for 9 years, though I have felt bad and gone to the ER 2 other times - isn't that what we're supposed to do?
When I got back home with instructions for followup with her and the unit, I came to think that she was blocking my calls. Her secretary told me the only time I did get through over a couple of months, was that she was away for a few weeks. But this secretary didn't connect the dots, until I popped over to get my wife's prescription. She paled and stared at me and what did I find? My doctor with a full waiting room. Why would they lie? Why would they block me? Oh, that's right - I'm a frequent flyer....
So I'm a bit stunned by this. I learned that I was about .02 in blood alcohol away from what would probably have been successful, and now, finally I know exactly what that amount is so the next time will be the last.
I've suffered from depression since 1977 and have been treated off and on. With and without meds. The latter cocktail works so I'm not anticipating another attempt. It's the lack of honesty from this doctor, the psychiatrist on call (who literally laughed when he told me my blood alcohol(.35) (you can't make this much stuff up), the hospital (not a single person asked me how I was doing - seriously), and of course, my wife, who ignored the whole event. All the psych department told me was to go to AA (which is not for everyone). I walked around stunned, alone and useless....
Already on an addictions waiting list, my number came up after the 9 month wait, in February and I was rejected from because I had stopped drinking. Tried to transfer to the mood disorders program, since any drinking I ever did was to avoid emotional pain, but I had to start the wait all over and then discovered after I moved back to another large city, that my doctor didn't ultimately refer me. I didn't know I was making this up...If I'd known, I'd have added some drama (...sarcasm...)
As I type this, it seems unbelievable. How could one person run into so many walls. Even I'd doubt me. But, sometimes reality sucks...
Anyone successfully lost the "frequent" tag?
poster:k9lover
thread:1073184
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20140702/msgs/1073184.html