Posted by alexandra_k on May 27, 2020, at 18:15:01
In reply to Re: Can Analytic Therapy make you more rebellious?, posted by Lamdage22 on May 25, 2020, at 6:46:41
One criticism or critique of psychoanalysis was that it focused on insight or awareness or truth...
But the relationship between those things and behavioral change was not very close, or tight.
So, sometimes the awareness or insight into the source or nature of the problem... Doesn't contain much of a solution with respect to the way forwards.
THe best help I have had with being appropriately assertive (not to say I couldn't stand to learn a hell of a lot more about this and about how to do this) was from DBT.
I'm not sure where the stuff came from. Cognitive psychology? Perhaps...
It was basically part of the many many lists that were offered.
Feel like harming yourself? Here are things to do instead. Then a long long long list of things you could do.
And (when feeling good) you could look through the list and see what of the many many things that were listed sounded like genuine options to you. I mean, sounded like things that you might actually possibly do if they actually occurred to them in the moment.
So you made the list yours, in other words. You sort of made a sub-list of things.
There were similar lists of emotions. So when asked 'how do you feel?' you would have some words to pick something out.
There were also lists of things you could say that were assertive things. When you wanted someone to stop something. When you wanted to say 'no' becuase someone was asking too much of you. Things like that.
I thought this... All of this... Was wonderful. Terrific.
For people who don't grow up with exposure or excess to scripts of things to say. With role models that we can copy in being appropriately assertive.
Especially when sometimes people respond badly to our attempts or efforts to stick up for ourself. When we have to make decisions about whether it is worth the bother to stand up for ourself vs give in to their desires and interests.. It can help to figure things out in advance. What is reasonable. HOw to approach it.
That was the best help I had.
I'm not sure where the lists came from. And the DHB group skills group where we could practice role-play situations. 'I'm sorry -- but I don't want to house-sit for you. Here are some other alternatives that you could think about for who could look after your cat'. And so on.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1110075
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20200305/msgs/1110371.html