Posted by S. Howard on November 5, 2000, at 0:47:02
In reply to Re: more web resources » judy1, posted by Noa on November 4, 2000, at 10:43:09
Judy-
You should be in a hospital for treatment.I was committed involuntarily to a hospital psychiatric ward last June. I had resisted all treatment for bouts of severe depression for many years because I felt I could "handle it" on my own. Finally, I called 911 about 4:00 am one morning and asked for the number to a suicide hotline. I denied wanting to kill myself, saying that I just needed to talk, but I admitted to having a loaded gun. To my amazement, there were four policemen at the door within minutes.
This was not an attention-getting tactic on my part. I felt like a total ass. I sat on the steps of the front porch with one of the cops and tried to convince him that I was alright and they could go away. I tried the same thing with the paramedics, but I was so severely stressed that my blood pressure reading in the ambulance was 200/160 (extremely high).
I had no intention of going to a psych ward. I was no fruitcake and besides, I had seen the movie about Frances Farmer. They tie you to the bed railings, inject you with insulin, give you ice baths and electroshock therapy, and sedate you with mind-numbing drugs.
Needless to say, it was nothing like that. I was terrified at first, especially when I had to hand over all my personal belongings, including my shampoo and shoelaces. This action in particular has a prison-like feel to it, and I was so horrified about the spot I had put myself into that I sat in the corner of my room and cried.
After about two weeks my doctor decided I was well enough to go home. I knew that I had to go back to my work and my family and get on with my life, but I was hesitant. Many of the other patients on the ward had become my friends and we
became unusually close during the short time we were together. The nurses were always available and honestly seemed to care. If I needed a sedative they would give it to me, but I was never forced to take anything. There was always someone to talk to, but you didn't have to talk.
While I didn't actually feel pampered, I felt cared-for. I felt like I was finally getting help.I believe, like me, you have reached the practical limits of self-help. All my fears about being hospitalized were unfounded. If you have any questions please e-mail me at gracie2114@aol.com.
poster:S. Howard
thread:1887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2109.html