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Lump Baskets

Posted by S. Howard on November 10, 2000, at 17:42:45

Friends-
With a heavy heart, I've been witnessing what I feared to be the dissolution of Lumptonia. I was particularly upset that this event would occur before I had a chance to share my brilliant idea with ya'll.
With all due credit to its creators, I found the original success of Lumptonia to be truely inspiring; hence, the idea of Lump Baskets. While we are all familiar with gift baskets for holidays, birthdays, new babies, etc., I have yet to see a basket specially prepared for the "Lump of your Life". We could be talking some serious revenue, here. Of course, baskets and all items within should be capable of delivery directly to our couches. Here are some ideas for Lump Baskets:
-Nestles Quik with spoon, optional noseplugs
-Emergency hat and sunglasses, for that occasional dreaded sojourn outside into (shudder) sunlight
-Designer pill organizer
-Bunny slippers
-Gallon jar of those little candy hearts that say "I
Love You", "Be Mine", etc.
-A stick for reaching buttons on the computer, TV, etc.
(Many thanks to the Ambassador for that idea)
-Chocolate and caffeine in various forms
-VCR tape of Jerry Springer reruns (to assure the viewer that he or she is incredibly normal and sane compared to the show's participants)
-Crossword puzzles, coloring books

The main problem, as I see it, is what to call the Lump Baskets. You can't call them Lump Baskets because
the reciever will be likely to say to the giver, no matter how good their intentions, "Are you calling me a
f****** Lump?!" I also envision no success with a card that says, "To My Bipolar Sweetheart" or "Hoping You Get Off Your Butt".
So here your Seer is stuck, mentally and physically. All this thinking has worn me to a frazzle, so any advice would be much appreciated.
-Gracie


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poster:S. Howard thread:2492
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2492.html