Posted by allisonm on November 12, 2000, at 21:27:39
In reply to Re: Good pdoc, bad HMO...coral,ksvt,S.Howard » allisonm, posted by ksvt on November 12, 2000, at 19:49:23
KSVT,
I have been on 6 different meds in 7 combinations since early 1998.Currently, I take 400mg of Wellbutrin SR/day (200mg in the morning and another 200 at 3pm). I have been on Wellbutrin since June of 1999. Started it at 100mg to augment Remeron. Six months later, the dose was increased to 200mg. Last March, the Wellbutrin dose was increased to 300, 350 and then 400 and the Remeron became the augmenting med, reduced over time from 45 to 15mg.
Since April I have found that Wellbutrin at 400mg has been the most effective, with the possible exception of Remeron 45mg and Lithium augmentation. I was on Rem since March 1998 and started the Li augment in October 1998. I was doing so well on Rem/Li that my doctor took me off the Li the following April, but I sank rapidly. There were too many side effects with the Li, too, so I refused to go back and was put on Wellbutrin. I still am trying to remember how well the Li worked. However, I stopped writing in my journal between January 1999 and May/June 1999 when the suicidal thoughts came back. So it must have done some good as I tend not to write in my journal when things are going well. I write copiously when things are bad.
This Wellbutrin higher dose helped but over time with the Rem augment did not do particularly well over spring and summer, so my doctor put me on the Neurontin several weeks ago. Now up to 800mg of the N (200mg am and 600mg before bedtime), I think it is the best combo so far (unless I am forgetting how well the Li worked, which I may well be doing.)
But I still am wary because nothing has really worked to the point that depression is not pretty much front-and-center in my mind most of the time. I am waiting for the day when I actually forget about it. Right now, I still am hypersensitive to my mood shifts. The Neurontin seems to have "brightened" everything pretty rapidly, at least it did once my PMS subsided. It won't touch that, but I have only been through one cycle with it.
I'm still pretty unhappy with the chronic diagnosis. It feels so permanent and lifelong. I dread the idea of going through the rest of life (I'm 39 this month) damaged, unable to see life normally the way others do, or always being susceptible to unpredictable depressive episodes for indeterminant lengths of time.
Take care.
Allison
poster:allisonm
thread:2520
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001031/msgs/2600.html