Posted by ksvt on December 1, 2000, at 16:16:44
In reply to Re: I could use some advice, posted by Noa on December 1, 2000, at 14:02:18
>Hey - I really appreciate your helpful responses. It's amazing how disconnected your thinking can be about things when you're anxiety level is up. Racer I wish you'd put your spreadsheet to work on my Xmas shopping. The idea of mapping out my drug history is a good suggestion. I sort of started to do that on the phone with him yesterday because I honestly couldn't remember, with 1 drug anyway, how long I was on it and why I quit.
It occurred to me that I probably have an easy solution, which is to temporarily anyway, just increase the dosage of what I'm already taking. I decreased it last spring to introduce an augmentation drug, and never brought it back up again when the trial was unsuccessful. I am by no means at the upper limit of this drug. This is not a great solution in my mind. I went the augmentation route to begin with because higher amounts of this drug weren't providing me with enough of an AD effect, but it may for the short term anyway, give me a much needed boost. I think my pdoc will want to sell me on a different augmentation strategy, but I feel so pessimistic right now, I don't trust myself that I'll give it a decent shot. I think I am pretty persuaded that I really shouldn't (maybe even can't) wait 3 or 4 months until this guy retires.Shellie - your suggestion about interviewing pdocs is the kind of thing that never occurs to me. I'm much to apt to just go where I'm sent. My pdoc gave me a name suggested to him by my therapist. I'll obviously need to talk to my therapit about her suggestion. To be honest, I'm not sure I'd know how to go about interviewing a pdoc, or what questions I should be asking. Do you have any suggestions? I'm sure you're right about my therapist not wanting to be the one who told me about the impending retirement. (my guess is that my pdoc asked her not to tell me) I understand this and even feel that this was the appropriate thing to do. I just felt alittle ambushed because I probably would have come out of this conversation differently had I known in advance.
Noa - my pdoc orders blood work on me about every 2 years or so and I know that checks thyroid function. Is this what you meant?
Thanks again everyone. I think part of my reticence to try somethiing new right now is that I have developed certain kneejerk conditioned responses to this pdoc, and maybe even he to me and that this is not very helpful when you're trying to do something which for me, seems to be so difficult and anxiety-producing. The other thing is that while I feel very shaky now, this is not an all-the-time feeling. I'm capable of coming out of this for a few days at a time. Because of this, it's very difficult for me to evaluate whether a drug is working other than over a long time. This may require more perseverance than I'm capable of at the moment. Additionally, I've been dealing with this for what seems like so long, that I've forgotten what "normal" feels like. I'm not sure I know how an effective drug is supposed to make me feel. Sorry for such a long-winded discourse. ksvt
1st--Emanuela--the advice I cannot take credit for, alas--it was Racer's.
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> The only thing I would add is to maybe put it on a timline.
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> I think the advice to go to the doc at least one last time is good. Take the documented info and go in to review it with him, kind of sum up together so you have an idea of what you are asking of a new pdoc. Plus, you worked with this guy a long time (in therapy, too), so I think a proper goodbye is a good idea.
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> As for the pessimism about anything helping--I'm with Racer. Last year you could not have convinced me that we could find a combo that would help. Now I know that it is possible. This combo has helped. It is amazing. The pessimism is a symptom.
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> It can be discouraging, I know. But I am sure you have not tried every possibility of combinations, and perhaps, as you mentioned, not tried some things for sufficient time to know if they work.
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> BTW, I know we must have discussed this before, but have you had an endocrinology workup?
poster:ksvt
thread:3353
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20001117/msgs/3374.html