Posted by susan C on August 15, 2001, at 17:36:44
In reply to Re: Too close to home, posted by Willow on August 15, 2001, at 16:41:09
Something about this week has phrases of songs matching up with posts. And I am one of those people who does not remember artists name or titles.
Just a note to say, I am in a similar situation. Chicken or egg. I am in and with a very stable person who is very devoted...29 years...
These posts did remind me of something that happened along time ago, and I wonder if I should investigate it again. When I talked to my gp, almost 20 years ago, he recommended it not because our marriage was in trouble, but that it could be helped, it is a weekend program offered through church, but it isn't really religious, it is called, i think, Marriage Encounter. Simply the weekend was spend asking questions and writing answers and spending time with your spouse, reestablishing communication...There was no charge, of course they asked for contributions, perhaps equal to one weeks pay. It was a turning point in our lives together. I think with our children older, one gone and the next close, and me, perhaps it is time for some kind of rediscovery?
Being serious
Susan C
> > I stay because of the kids, and because I don't want to hurt husband. The result is I'm miserable. There's not the slightest doubt in my mind that if this were a boyfriend, I'd be outta there in a flash. What I was willing to settle for then, and what I feel I deserve now are very different.
> The other question it brings up for me is, does the lousy marriage which meets none of my needs cause the depression, of does the depression make me dissatisfied with the marriage? No way to tell.
>
> I just changed a few words and I'm in the same boat Jenny. I do love my husband, but besides looking after our home and a physical relationship there's nothing else here for me. He's supportive and helpful, plus he does have his bad points. He's miserable/grouchy when he wakes up, plus he doesn't do anything with the children besides feed, etc. Plus he has little interest in social activities unless there is alcohol involved.
>
> For myself I think the depression has made the relationship worse, making me more dependent thus I'm more able to see his faults. If I was busy about my own business I would be happier thus less likely to be seeking blame.
>
> Just some of my many opinions.
>
> Willow
>
> ps been together 16 years maybe it's what comes after the 7 year itch in less than perfect relationships
poster:susan C
thread:8862
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010812/msgs/9674.html