Posted by ELA on January 5, 2002, at 6:33:21
In reply to Re: friday night blues » ELA, posted by shellir on January 4, 2002, at 18:08:23
Thanks for that. I am trying to get out and about again, it's just been weird as I was the life and soul of the party a couple of months ago and now I get scared around large crowds of people. The clots in my lungs are quite large and are taking a long time to dissolve so my breathing is still affected by them. GP has said that my meds may also have an effect but it should settle down.
The thing I am most worried about at the moment is going back to university next week. I've been back at the family home for 8 weeks now and I'll be effectively "alone" again once I get back to Cambridge. Very scary stuff all of this and although I think some of the old me is starting to come back, it's just taking a long time.
> > Most "normal" people will be out and about 2nite, doing stuff and things. I, on the other hand, am sat indoors as per usual lately. Seems like my illness has taken away a part of my life - the part that used to want to get up and go all the time. It's now been replaced with something that makes me not want to do anything social very often anymore. I've said it before but what has happened to my life??? and when will I get it back?
>
> I've actually gotten past the weekend blues; probably because I work for myself and usually have scheduled appointments on Saturday morning. The hardest thing about the weekend when I had a regular job, was not having much to say about "what I did over the weekend" on Monday morning. I had a older officemate who identified me as being close in age to her neice, and I used to make up things that I did with other people over the weekend because I thought I'd disappoint her or she'd worry about me if I told her how much time I spend at home by myself.
>
> Now I love working on Saturday nights because the phone never rings to interrupt me, except my out-of-town sister, who's daugther's social life is much much more active than her own.
>
> On the other hand, before this last severe depression, I *was* trying to get on track and have a social life and even went on dates. I spent the second half of my thirties going to support groups for dissociative disorder and all my friends were made there. I got really tired of so many disappointments with people; I'm not a great people person and everyone I met was like me or worse. They were always falling apart and cancelling movies "dates", etc., so I decided that I needed to move into having friends without huge problems. Friends I could depend on.
>
> If you are feeling up to a social life, I would push yourself. Because unless you decide to change something, time will go by. When all the support group friends were out of my life,
> and I realized
> how few people were left in my life,it was scarey. That's the only reason I would recommend going in the way of more socialibility, not because I have any belief that weekends spent alone are shameful,but it is nice to have people for those times when you would like to go out to dinner, etc. And it is nice to have friends to fall back on when you find you need someone to pick you up the airport, etc. For me, anyway, it makes me feel less alone.
>
> Shelli
poster:ELA
thread:16292
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020102/msgs/16311.html