Posted by trouble on March 13, 2002, at 10:43:43
In reply to Re: Am I overreacting too?, posted by ST on March 13, 2002, at 6:27:06
Hi Ladies,
I love reading intelligent dating advice like yours in the hope I'll get to put it to use someday, ha.
What strikes me is that both of your posts are brilliant but they seem to contradict each other, Gracie's seems to be more strategic, but Sarah's is too, her approach is just more up-front, but no less deliberate.
For me, if I had the ego-strength for it I'd go into a relationship following Sarah's tips, then if the dude started taking me for granted I would utilize Gracie's methods, not just to influence him, but to give myself the needed distance their use would engender.
The problem for me is I can't do either approach, I'm still sadly using relationships w/men as an arena in which to act out my unresolved childhood issues. It's almost like another personality comes up, and only in this situation (I don't have multiple personalities or any of that business).
This personality is based on film stars and my mom, which is redundant, as her own personality was based on film stars, where the man in question tends to get lost in a bunch of contrived characters and eventually retreats in awe to observe the plot unfold.I've read a dozen or so how-to books on relationships, but I can't put one strategy into effect, everything is forgotten and this totally inauthentic and undulating va-va-va-voom pricktease walks through the door, walks like she's f*cking, in long blonde wig and acrylic nail tips. But how can that be inauthentic if "I'm" the one doing it?
It's like my sole objective is to send a man home scratching his head.
Then I scrape off the face-paint, put Sinatra on the stereo, pour a glass of Chardonnay, soak in a hot tub, and scratch my own head, pondering my protocol, that is to say, I write a review, as in, next time try a little less spider woman and a little more Doris Day, or what-have-you, the point being *not*
did we have fun, does he make me laugh, did we connect, can we talk, but
was I sufficiently enigmatic, did I turn heads, was I intriguing and out of reach, did I UPSET him?
Believing I upset a man gives me a sort of grim satisfaction, but it's so empty and so easy.Maybe I just need more fine-tuning of what is merely an exaggeration of the feminine mystique, or maybe I should just chuck it all like Dr. Phil says, and GET REAL, walk around stark naked w/my hemmoroids hanging out of my ass like the seventh wonder of the world, give them something they can relate to. But the stubborn part of me persists in sticking up for the self-defeating, evil seductress side, don't know why but wish I did.
Goodness Gracious, this true confession seems no more unflattering than the usual, but I'm having a helluva time hitting the submit post button, don't want all you dames out there stealing my love secrets, ha.
trouble
poster:trouble
thread:19628
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19763.html