Posted by alii on May 28, 2002, at 15:48:08
In reply to Jag är nyfiken - en film i gult..., posted by kid_A on May 28, 2002, at 15:12:54
> today. another panic attack, felt like i was going to die... i wonder how bad that would be? but enough about me, thats not the point...
You are the point kid. There is some funky wiring going on in you and it needs to be adjusted. Not bad, not good. Just funky. Off? Wacky? Wild? Delicate? Insert your own adjective here?
> god, little g, used probably blasphemously, though not in vain, you all are great... seriously i dont know what id do without the contact i have here...
Oh come now, all of us great? We're mediocre at best and a squabbling bunch of mediocrities at that! (joke for those of you out there prone to sensitivities or misunderstandings)
> and i worry, dinah where are you? katt (do i even have the right to say it?) where are you? sourceror, where are you? god damn it, sar, where the hell are you? i miss you so...
I worry and wonder where these folks are as well. As for sar.....my heart aches for your loss kid. I have no other words to offer on that at this time.
> i keep dreaming of meeting you somehwere, somehow, of connecting just like, just like... but maybe all there is beyond us is the cold earth, clutching at your bones like a mother...
Beautiful words kid. I personally think that dreaming about someone after their death is normal and healthy. From the readings I've done on the subject anyway that is the conclusion I've come to. Continue dreaming......can you write down your dreams? Another crazy idea I'm tossing out there without an ounce of pressure ;)
> why do we have to wake at 3:00am restless and desperate for normal sleep, normalacy, bad machines go back to the factory for retooling, we're going to put you on thorazine, up the dosage, you should start to feel better...
Bad and should. Two words that to me denote judgement in a negative way. Sorry for the lack of sleep. I know when my sleep is interrupted I become wildly out of balance the longer I go without normal sleep. As for the meds....it's a frickin bear riding out dosage changes. I wish I knew more about the meds you are taking to offer up more support/suggestions. But alas....
> what do you want to be when you grow up? i wanna wake up with the absence of feeling as if the world was going to end... thats all... maybe a little money in my pocket to buy some beer...
Oh yeah if you were happy you would def. want beer moola. Ha ha ha. I would love that feeling as well.....I tasted it back in Feb so I know my body/mind is capable of achieving it even for momentary glimpses.
> happiness, what a great thing, what a wonderfull thing, what a marvelous candy and roses and sweet sweet honey dripping thing...
Oh it is that and more. Sunshine and roses and fresh, clean air and the energy to enjoy all this bounty of goodness and BALANCE (like I expect life to be all hip hip hooray and no aw shucks? I'm realistic after all)
> seems like, just like the sun, out of reach.
> peace to all of you
> love to all of you
> gotta make it
> one more
> day.Always looking for you to make
it
one
more
day
as
well.Awaiting some TICkling,
alii
poster:alii
thread:24786
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020523/msgs/24793.html