Posted by Gracie2 on June 22, 2002, at 19:58:27
In reply to Re: Anyone else resent depressed parent? » InsomniaMom, posted by oona on June 16, 2002, at 11:16:09
Sorry I am late getting in on this.
First, because my own mother was so manipulative and unhappy no matter what I did for her, I had to let her go. That's how I think of it...I didn't abandon her or turn my back on her, I had to let her go. She was making me so unhappy, so miserable, and even though she wouldn't admit it, I don't think she ever really liked me as a person. In my wildest dreams I cannot imagine treating my own child like she treated me. Finally, after years of her abuse, I got fed up. I stopped taking her calls and I would not see her. The guilt was overwhelming but my life became so much more peaceful that I was able to
finally shut the door on that part of my life.
These days, I call her and send her a present on Christmas and Mother's Day.Other than that, we do not communicate. I see this as being her choice, a decision she forced me into by the way she treated me.Second, I have had severe problems with depression myself. In the last two years I've been hospitalized three times, twice after a drug overdose. My son handled all this as well as he could. He was very supportive during my first hospital stay, less so during the next two. I'm sure he was upset and confused but he had the good sense not to blame himself for my problems,
which was the right thing for him to do. He's not responsible for me any more than we are responsible for our mothers, and we have to let go of the guilt.
-Gracie
poster:Gracie2
thread:25385
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020616/msgs/25593.html