Posted by shar on August 17, 2002, at 0:22:50
In reply to How much happiness can you expect?, posted by mist on August 16, 2002, at 11:55:46
Happiness is a messy subject, in my opinion. My therapist once pointed out that to many people happiness is when the perception of one's life is mainly "nothing is wrong" or "I don't have any big problems."
Also, there is contentment vs. happiness. I've always thought of happiness as a sort of extreme emotion--like when someone gets that million dollar check from Ed McMahon, or finds out they are pregnant and it's a good thing, or ... finds out some other special good news.
Contentment, on the other hand, I see (and felt, years ago) as a more earthbound experience, an every day feeling ok, waking up and not dreading what is coming, even having more pleasure than pain usually (whether on the job or at home...just in general). Like, to me, having enough money in the bank to pay the bills, and then some, on a regular basis, lends itself to contentment. Or, walking into my house and feeling safe. Sanctuary. Some people would call that happiness.
Then, of course, is the Pollyanna style of happiness, and lil orphan Annie, and tomorrow, and a spoonful of sugar, and the hills are alive with the sound of music, type of "happiness" that seems totally fake to me because I have never experienced it and those people I've met who are like that never seem genuine to me. It's like the Big Lie style of Happiness. I always have a suspicion that underneath that is a ssssnake waiting to judge anyone in pain.
So, I think we can choose our definitions (really, as we do for everything in life), determine what it is for us, and make an effort to get as much of it as possible. The lower you set your standards, the more you can expect.
Standard disclaimer for all of the above being only my opinion, not meant to insult or put down anyone, nor to upset or anger anyone, and totally humble to boot.
Shar
> What is considered a normal level of happiness? Since I've been mostly unhappy in my life (related to depression but maybe also involving other things) I'm not sure how much happiness is realistic to expect from life. I'm feeling a little better at the moment. (My level of depression has varied throughout my life from severe at times to moderate -- where I'm functional but feel terrible and want to die -- rarely mild.)
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> But I still feel weighed down sometimes. I'm not sure how to sort out unhappiness from depression, either (in my case, I think it may be easier if one's depression symptoms are mainly physical). I wonder if I'd feel unhappy even if I didn't have symptoms of depression. Maybe it would depend on the duration of the feeling.
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> Any thoughts on this would be appreciated.
poster:shar
thread:28766
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020813/msgs/28816.html