Posted by nikioct73 on August 29, 2002, at 17:08:30
In reply to Re: Ramblings...feeling alone and pathetic..., posted by Roo on August 29, 2002, at 9:16:31
Hi..
"AL" and I have dated on/off for four years lived together since 99' when I moved all the way from CT to TX (MUCH to the dismay of my family)..moved back to CT after a year..and broke up after about three months back here..that was last year he has mutilple issuse himself with childhood...and ex wife and well...ex son.(has not seen him since he was three months old.)also is cyclothymic like me..never in Tx never on med's ( he talks abotut it every once in a while)so I bet you can imagine what our life was like...crazyness brought us together and drove us apart..he moved out for awhile last year Aug to Dec then moved back in and our 'relationship' only made it two more months..we have lived together as "room mates' ever since...he says he can't not afford to move out on his own..and I'm a shmuck for him as I always have been..I just can't seem to get 'over' as they say ..him..before him I never would have put up with any kind of crap from a man..but him...I honestly love him and all the time I've been with him have never considered being with anyone else...My soul feels content when I'm with him..i could be in a whole room full of people and if he was not there I would feel lonely..i probably will never know how much of these intence emotions is my mental issues and what is real at this point..he knows how I feel...he lives downstairs and I live up...( we have a no guest rule..)now being off med's I feel like I'm going through the loss of 'us' all over again..and each day is very hard to get through...and he see's this..I told him I'm off med's so he is walking on egg shells..he IS an asshole...:)..but he does try to be human every once in a while he is just a very selfish guy..and he comes first..I'm not sure what the future hold for either one of us...somehow we always seem to be drawn to one another...both knowing how very different and stubbern each is..jeeze did you open a whole can of worms.....it a long story and this is the ver short version...but yes it IS painful and thank god today is an ok day ...so I'm not bawling through this thread..
niki
poster:nikioct73
thread:29367
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020829/msgs/29544.html