Posted by ROO on October 28, 2002, at 11:02:31
If I may have to add a damn antidepressant to
the old mood stabilizer....I'm stable...not suicidal...
but I often think dark thoughts and life seems depleted a
and bleak....I lack joy....I don't know what to think...I hate
the side effects....but I don't like these feelings either....
what do you think....tell me what to do...how to live my life...
(just kidding)....there's this feeling I get when I know I'm clinically
depressed...it's this feeling that we're all just these amoeba's (spelling?)...
really existential...just these bags of blood and tissue and nerves and cells moving
through life....and that's how I kind of feel lately....I know that when I take
an antidepressant and the ole seratonin gets pumping those feelings go away and I
feel peace and some joy again...but then there's the price....
I feel really torn....
Part of it is circumstantial....I'm really at a job that is completely unhealthy for me....
mind deadening and isolating...then I come home and i'm alone....my life is really isolating....
so that contributes ALOT...my psychiatrist says to do things that NURTURE me, that feed me, etc...but
I don't have the energy...I mean I hardly have the energy sometimes to even put a cd in the stereo!! That's
bad! That seems really depressed to me....Any insight?
Thanks for listening...
I'm glad not to be in the suicidal pits of hell...but this isn't exactly what I had in mind either...
poster:ROO
thread:31737
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021022/msgs/31737.html