Posted by Dinah on November 19, 2002, at 5:02:32
In reply to Re: Do you ever... » Dinah, posted by Eddie Sylvano on November 18, 2002, at 9:14:35
> Well, that implies that you at least appreciated your own appearance at some time in the past. I've never been entirely pleased with the way I look. Too boyish and slender (like 133lbs and 5'10" kind of slender). It hasn't been until now, at 30, that I can even grow a beard. I seem to have all the qualities that women would like in themselves, but none that they would like in the opposite sex.
Tabitha is right, boyish is attractive. Don't underestimate yourself. I don't know that I've ever been pleased with the way I look. At seventeen I would have probably complained about all the flaws, and there were quite a few. But for some reason, I think all very very happy seventeen year olds are lovely in their own ways. And I want to recapture that very very happy again, I think, more than the looks. And that sense of possibility.
> The main weirdness of the mirror is the confrontation of myself altogether. Looking into my own eyes and having that moment of dissociation where it amazes me that I'm that guy, and wondering what other people think of him.
Yes! That's it exactly! Altho I rarely wonder what others make of my appearance. Something to look forward to as you move from thirty to forty. But it's that feeling that you just aren't who you expected to see. There's an intellectual awareness that, yes that me. But no psychic recognition. At a gut level, I see that person as an intruder who stole my very physical space.
poster:Dinah
thread:32416
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20021106/msgs/32489.html